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  147th Edition
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February 3rd, 2012   

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The Night Nurse

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great... that's just great! .....somebodys' butt hole's got my pen!'


And now, Our Weekly
Dose of Humor
directly from the Internet.....

bits and pieces that your Editor will not testify to for correctness, accuracy nor even
believability but they are certainly humorous, So Enjoy!


Everyone likes to fly low,
ya just gotta remember that the
record for the lowest flight can only
be tied never broken.

Lower Than...

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Albino hummingbird...

Fifteen-year-old photographer Marlin Shank was fortunate enough to capture several images of a rare albino ruby-throated hummingbird while in a park in Staunton , Va

For Laughs!
A couple of these
are quite good

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Growing Old...

I thought maybe you (some of you) could confirm this for me….. :)

"At the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell."
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh....It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, You are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run-- Anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left To learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now Won't wear out.
8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits As a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along With elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

 


AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER, Under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!


"Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."



Copyright © 2007 ~ 2012 The Waxhaw Gazette
www.thewaxhawgazette.com  |  info@thewaxhawgazette.com
Waxhaw, NC 28173  |   Phone 704.650.0606

An Italian Mama....

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were
here for dinner.

Your Loving Son
Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his
MaMa which read:

Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa

Moral:
Never Bulla Shita you a MaMa